Saturday, January 16, 2010

Pranks and Vegetables

Who would ever guess that pulling a mean prank could open the door to my favorite vegetable?

In junior high, sometime in the early 90’s, the majority of the girl’s in my class signed up for the volleyball team.  I wasn’t necessarily an attractive girl at that age, nor popular with many of the other girls who had signed up; so one day I decided to go after the under dog in a means to up my par a little.
There were many strange rituals during that time; like rolling or pinning pant legs, obnoxiously huge bangs with too much hairspray, and pulling each other’s pants down. Yes I know how barbaric that sounds in this day and age, but back then every bullies edge was the kid not wearing a belt.
After quickly choosing my victim I looked around for the right time, when the coach was no where in sight and yanked as hard as I could.  Her shorts were around her ankles and there she stood in her light pink granny panties as vulnerable and wide open as a deer in a grass less field.
However, instead of the bouts of laughter and fingers erect, which I assumed would be to follow,  were looks of pity and curses of reprimand.  To make the situation even more sticky, the school superintendent was right behind me and had seen the whole thing!
Now I don’t recommend pulling pranks, nor am I endorsing the possibilities when you do, but on the long dreadful walk home that day, I made a new best friend.  That same girl, who’s shorts I had yanked down, walked me home cracking jokes about how she wished she was wearing underwear with a big smiley face and such.  A couple of nights later she invited me over to her house for dinner.
In my home we never ate anything that was the color green unless lime jello counts.  At my house we ate a strict diet of bland; potatoes, corn (cream style or kernel) and beef.  So while she stuck her nose up at the sight of her mom’s dish I smiled. A delicate green ball, with a bitter pungent kick, a texture between firm and soft, shimmering with olive oil, lightly sprinkled with sea salt.  I asked on the way out the door, “What are these things called again?” “Brussel sprouts.”
I didn’t eat one again until after I graduated high school.  Now I try to eat green with every meal, especially brussel sprouts!